“To lose patience is to lose the battle.” – Mahatma Gandhi
I saw this at twitter,
and very applicable to me these days…
I have learned a valuable lesson this week,
that is,
to stay humble and patient,
even if other people would be all over you,
just don’t mind them.
Even if they are irritating..
Respect is still essential.
Patience is indeed a virtue...
I was wishing, but I didn't throw a coin. >_<
It’s not that bad to wish for something, isn’t it? Just like in the song, “Kasalanan bang humingi ako sa langit ng isang himala?” But it’s not the miracle I am after.
I wish and hope for a lot of things. Although I know we should be contented and all, but it’s not bad to have a passion for having many hopes to happen. Just like the following that I have in mind.
I wish for longer patience and endurance for the irritations I encounter.
I wish for strength every time my body feels tired and weak.
I wish my true friends won’t leave me.
I wish for my parents’ good health.
I wish I can bring out my plans in life.
I wish I can conquer my fears.
I wish I can control myself a bit when I’m intoxicated.
I wish for peace of mind.
I wish I could meet more people.
I wish I can finish my paperworks in time.
I wish for that special person who will accept and love me as I am, and will not use me for anything.
And as cliché as it may be, I wish for world peace.
I know that for some, I am responsible to make these realities.
I thank God, I’m still alive, and make those wishes. ♥
As I was surfing the net and watching some videos on Youtube, I suddenly remembered a song that I haven’t heard for years. It’s “Water Runs Dry” by Boyz II Men. A classic ballad that was at its peak on the 90′s.
As I was listening to it, I was stricken by the lyrics:
We don’t even talk anymore
And we don’t even know what we argue about
Don’t even say I love you no more
’cause saying how we feel is no longer allowed
That was how the last stage of my relationship had passed. Not saying the ‘three words’ directly, because its not allowed. The feelings were never the same. He had let it wear out. Or could be, that there’s nothing more left.
But moving on with the song..
Some people will work things out
And some just don’t know how to change
And there it was, we did not work it out, perhaps he chose not to. And so, both of us have to change. And we have let the ‘water run dry’.
In relationships, I think there would be times that you will be reaching the point of ’wearing out’. Both of the parties involved have to do something to bring the ‘spark’, they say, to life again. Or else, it will all be gone. You don’t have to do things over and over but have to take things to a different level at some point.
That also goes for life too. We have to do changes so we don’t get stuck in one place. Especially if we feel like we have no motivation at all to continue what we’re doing. I have felt that, and it makes me lose my energy and affects me in some way.
Why post about this? Past is just around my corner. I hope it would go. These past opportunities I have let go by. And now, probably, I want change.
The microphone and the podium have been two of my favorite companions.
One of the “extra” thing I do at school is holding the microphone for several events and sometimes, I even extend it outside school. I consider it as one of my “talents” hehe 
One of my mentors for hosting is my friend Sir Mhon. 
Be it formal or informal, in Tagalog or in English, I have come to love speaking in front of other people. It feels nice when other people also recognize you after the event or the program that you did a good job.
Here are other factoids that I would like to share with my ‘microphone’ experience.
1. I still rattle like two to three minutes before the actual program. Yeah, I still do, although I’ve been doing this countless times, I still feel that. But after fifteen minutes on stage and I finally got my groove, then I’m back in the game.
2. I’ve hosted 18th birtdays, but not weddings yet. I am not comfortable with weddings. Hmmm..
3. Yeah, I commit errors as well. (This is speaking people, not writing!) If I have a script, and then there are sudden changes, I rattle a bit, I have to do these ‘adlibs’ and sometimes I get really mental blocked! But I am able to handle it. Sometimes, I am able to correct myself, but sometimes, it will just come to my senses that I committed an error. Ahe! But am proud to say, that rarely happens.
(L) During Rave party (middle) With Sir Benjie after a seminar (R) With Sir Mhon after the SPCBA Idol
4. I’ve hosted a handful of events, be it formal or informal. Be it as informal as the youth camp or battle of the bands or singing contests, or formal as the graduation, I can adjust to the theme of the program. I can somehow use “humor” and my wits.
5. I like to host formal events than informal ones. In formal events, I have to be very discreet. In informal ones, my “thin” voice usually comes out. And it sounds funny! Ahihihi
(Top) Editing the changes in the script during a formal program (Bottom) Haggard posing during the NSTP Camp..
Me during the RACSPE Induction
6. I like to host graduation rites. I have lost count. I host it twice a year. Aside from the fact that it is formal, I also get to dress up. (Well, as if you can see what I’m wearing!)
Graduation rites.
7. I feel happy when I can find potential speakers from my students. I am encouraging my students to find their courage in speaking in front of other people. Because they will be future teachers too, I hope they’d be able to carry themselves in handling the microphone.
I always anticipate holding the ‘mic’. Have you experienced holding the microphone as well?
I had been once in Puerto Galera because of a company outing. I didn’t enjoy it much though the place is just right. So I told myself, “I am going to come back.”
And so I did. After a series of sadness and confusion from relationships and career paths, I had returned. This time, with a friend. I had to reflect and apparently think things over.
I was very thankful as God permitted us to go because there was the imminent threat of a storm days earlier and the thought of canceling the “gala” was on the way. But still, a wonderful day had greeted us.
It was Saturday, early morning, when we boarded a bus going to the pier. The sun was indeed in the mood that day. I started to gather my thoughts on the way. I was actually worried that there would be strong waves but the travel from pier to the island by boat, were indeed smooth.
I ate good food while I was there, though they were quite expensive, I was able to save on the cheap accommodation. The room was nice too. It has two beds for the two of us.
It was raining in the afternoon, so I was able to rest. When we went out for a swim, the water was not very cold as I expected. I love the temperature of the waters. And the waves were high, I enjoyed the feeling of swimming towards them.
Me and the waves of Galera
The beach at night
The place has a lively night with the bars making it possible. I did not drink a lot. I just want to have a nice relaxing sleep that night.
I liked looking at the sights..
The next day, we took the time to take pictures. I saw this mountain, I was glad that it was captured well by my camera.
A nice mountain to look at. ^^
I walked at the fine sands. I had to take off my slippers so I can feel the sand.
Walking on the sands
And me on the beach taking a nice dip. ^^
Me and the cold waters ^^
Galera is indeed a nice place and the vacation had helped me find peace in a way. I intend to go back but not this year. My next stop would be in Boracay…
It's June 1!
Yep. Today is June 1, and I could say that it is indeed a start of a new life for me because of so many things.
Yesterday, I was telling myself, I don’t want to end the day, tomorrow it’s June 1, waaah! But you know, I kinda thought of it as a challenge for me.
When I woke up, I immediately planned of writing my thoughts about this. What else are the other things that are significant on this day?
1. Today is the start of Game 1 of Dallas Mavericks versus Miami Heat. Well that’s just exciting. I will be at school, so I guess I’ll find a way to watch somewhere. I know my colleagues there love to watch basketball. I’m rooting for Miami, it’s a plus that their coach is half-Filipino. Anyway, Go Miami!
NBA Finals 2011 Dallas vs. Miami
2. I just found out that the award from the Rotary International has been given to the Rotaract Club of San Pedro East. It is for our project “Greenvironment.”(in which we worked hard for). The Rotary Convention was held in New Orleans.
Rotary Convention 2011. Joannie Sitoy received the award in behalf of RACSPE. (The second from the right-wearing black dress)
3. I will be meeting with my friend Zyra and of course, Donna, , she was the one who won the birthday contest of Allen from Silkenhut Yehey! There goes a treat!
4. It’s the start of a new month. It’s JUNE. The month of my father’s birthday. And not forgetting the start of classes. (Wohow, that will be on June 6!) I will be back to early morning rush.
5. It will be the start of the 6th month. How time flies! Then you’ll just notice, it’s Christmas time again.
6. I realized the meaning of “acceptance.”
7. And the last but not the least, it’s a new day for me. Well, I am taking this as a challenge. It’s a school thing. I won’t tell you. ahihi.
I hope I am finally armed with the things I need to face the new month and the succeeding days to come. I would like to be busy with a lot of things. “Me” is a big priority this time. Thanks for reading!
Heart vs. Mind
People often say that in making decisions, especially if about relationships, we must use our minds, heart is only secondary.
Some also say that when we decide, it must be 60% coming from the mind and only 40% from the heart, (or any percentage as long as the mind has the bigger share) and they say that the mind was located on top of our head and the heart in the middle part of our body, so we’ll have to consider what the mind says. (Okay, I pretty much got the idea.)
I have experienced this dilemma. It is indeed very hard. Sometimes, you know the right thing to do, but still, some people follow their heart because that is what makes them happy. I asked myself, “Why do I still follow my heart, even if I know the direction of the decisions I am taking?” One moment, you’re happy, and then after that, hurt will follow. The next step is to learn the lesson. But, I resented to learn it. And now I’m asking, “Why did I choose to be in that position again and again”?
It’s because, I am happy. It’s as simple as that. But, where do happiness and hurt end and acceptance begin? Why do I keep on doing things over and over even if I know that it will happen again? That part, was when my heart decides.
And now, little by little, I am in the process of realizing the answers to those questions. It has been years since my heart has overcome my decisions in life and love. It is time for the mind to take over, when it should have dominated long time ago.
The heart has made me feel happy. They said, it made me stupid. Perhaps I just loved wholeheartedly. But now, the mind says, “take a break, let go, love yourself more.” The heart has always been my first consideration. Now, I have to set the heart aside, no matter how sad it will be, the mind will help the heart heal its wounds.
My mind is getting clear, but the heart is still trying get out and make its move. I hope my mind will stay alert in the process.
You had me at your funny wits, I fell in love.
We were sweet then, we made each other smile.
I was inspired and happy,
I had a reason to make life even more worthwhile.
We were strangers in the beginning, you left,
I guess I don’t know you that much and you felt the same.
But eventually came back to each other’s arms
And stayed with each other, and have known each other better.
Soon, we have come to know our differences,
I have come to accept you as you are,
I have accepted all the things about you,
And in return, you were always there for me.
It’s been years, struggles have come before us.
You almost gave up, I never let you,
We stood tall, together.
We have made it through, together.
You have hurt me, when I found out there was another,
But you came back for me, realizing you still need me.
I forgave you, just for you not to leave me.
I was ready to forget everything,
So we can still be together.
I never asked for anything in return,
Just for you to stay with me,
But I felt you so far away from me.
But you told me, “Everything’s fine, everything’s okay.”
Still I believed, for my blind heart and eyes don’t see..
Future plans have been made,
We’d be living far away, and we’ll still have each other
Sacrifices have to be rendered,
But the thought of us, being together,
Has made me through all the challenges
Years went on, I am still here
Another year has come, and another, then another
Then a picture told a story, That it involves another and not me.
I felt used, I felt stupid, I felt betrayed, I felt HURT.
Is that all we are now after the things we have shared.
Love is still there, I admit.
Perhaps the heart has been used to the hurt it feels over and over,
But I don’t know what to feel now,
I want to cry, I want to scream, I want to burst out what’s in my heart,
So many questions wanting to be answered,
But none has been given to me.
You will never change, when I hoped you will,
But this time has been unbearable for me,
Deep inside me, I still cared.
But I don’t know whether which is right,
To let go, to get mad or to just let things happen as they are.
For the ‘criminal’ who stole my heart and is still with him,
Its return will heal the pain, but I don’t know when,
The feeling of much “Incompleteness” is with me.
I hope that time will eventually heal this pain inside me.
MY BLESSINGS FOR 2010
“An early-morning walk is a blessing for the whole day. “ — Henry David Thoreau
It has been a while since my last blog. I have been very busy with a lot of things. As I was watching TV yesterday, I have come to recall of the blessings I received this year. I realized then that I am indeed blessed (just like my special friend always tells me, by the way thanks a lot).
At the beginning of the year, I was faced with a lot of duties and work to do with regard to school activities. But with a bit of inspiration and perseverance, I was able to accomplish that with my student friends, support from my teacher friends and of course friends. (I have a lot of ‘em!)
I do not look good in the picture, but hey, its a valid ID.. =)
It was my favorite month – February –I finally have my driver’s license! I beat Spongebob to it!
It was my birthday, I was absent that morning because I went to LTO. Done some tests, and practical driving. (Men, that was a tough one!) I haven’t practiced my driving for almost seven months, but I was not afraid at all. After that, the officer said “Iha, I-refund mo yung pinangbayad mo sa driving school.” I was surprised that he approved me. Anyway, it’s just a non-professional license, but still, am proud of it!
I am proud of this..
During foundation week of our school, I was awarded something in our school. I don’t want to be boastful about it, but I am proud of it. Its like, all your years of hardwork is finally recognized.
April that year, due to some deep reasons, I have to have a new haircut. (Now I know what it feels like why girls do that out of depression.) I am glad I did it. And during graduation, I matched my new haircut with my new maroon dress. I loved it.
Looks different..
It was May, had a tough month. However, I have some friends beside me, to go through this “rough” month. There’s Ryan, the student assistant and of course, Sir Mhon. Ryan and I would continually crash every evening to Sir Mhon’s house, and have dinner and laugh a lot over a lot of things. (That’s a lot!)
Also, I was able to see the sights of Villa Escudero for our company outing this May. I was very happy to see the mountains, and the falls. I don’t have much pictures of that.
Sa Villa Escudero
Opening of classes in June, I was asked to be the speaker in a seminar. This friend of mine has been confident that I can do it, so he suggested me. That is in front of my co-teachers, and I know they could be hard to impress, since they have more experiences in the field than me. But after the talk, they gave out positive feedbacks! (Men, that was great!) I had no pictures for it, tsk tsk!
On the other hand, I had to make a tough decision during this month. I was almost to become a member of the “Yellow Tiger” community. It was indeed a handsome opportunity, but after a bit of reflection, (with just a percentage higher) I chose the “banner of white, green and gold” tigers.
I had some regrets, but you know my stay in the school where I’m staying now has been nice and warm and happy. I consider that event a blessing as well.
It was also during this month that I had my new laptop. I have no plans but I brought the idea to my nanay and finally she approved of it (she has way a lot money compared to me..hehe). My friend named her “Floppy.” It’s not in my plan since I do not consider it a necessity, eventually, the desktop computer in the office is having some problems (just like the people in the office..hehe). I have been able to use it for emails, important documents and work has never been easy. Thanks Floppy!
Si Floppy
I was also able to find a new “buddy” at school. It has been three years since my buddy has left the school and I have never found one. But then, this cute bunny came along. Her name is Zyra. I laugh at her wit a lot. And I like her trips and she also can ride on with mine. Call it a bit childish or crazy, but for reason I can’t explain, we just really got along. Thanks friend!
I was able to go back to Enchanted Kingdom this year since third year high school. And I am most proud of being able to ride the SPACE SHUTTLE! (Oh yeah! =))
I was able to ride that one! Awesome.. thanks to Sir Arman..
I have been an “accidental” member of the Rotaract Club of San Pedro East. I would like to find out what I will get in being a member of this club, but just like what my friend Gucci said “Malalaman mo din in time.” But you know, the thought of helping out during your spare time, is not such a bad idea.
RACSPE 3820
I was also able to make memories with a friend by the name of Matthew. A month before he left for another country, he would always come to the office and joke around and laugh about a lot of stuff (I have been able to know the different side of him Not a lot of people know that). It was indeed a blessing knowing a friend named Matthew. Bye bye tol. Ahuhuhu.. 
We’ll meet again after two years.
Matthew, Me and Ryan..
I received a number of work load in school, and to reward myself, I bought these pairs of shoes last November. Im lovin’ the heels! )
This is my new shoes, I love the heels!
My red "wedge"(?) slippers
And then recently, during a Christmas party, by the number “84”, I won a major prize at school. It’s a flat screen TV! Hey, I’ve never won a high profile prize before. I was actually pre-occupied with our department’s Christmas presentation, plus the fact that I am still not well. But I was pretty lucky that night. Thanks for the TV! (yehey, yehey!)
That's High School Musical on our new TV!
I would like to accomplish a lot of goals for 2011. I’m aiming for something big this year. Some would include an out of the country experience, or probably a new cellphone, a new number. (You know, simple things like that..)
I probably have a lot of blessings that I did not mention. No matter what they are, I have been thankful that it has been a great year. It could not have been possible with the help of my friends, family, my special friend, and of course GOD. I thank Him for all the blessings, big or small, each regarded as significant to my life.
Merry Christmas and Have a wonderful year ahead!
